7 tips to help you stress less and be the best!

Hugh Simson by Anne Carolien Kohler GetTogetherPhoto 181.jpg

As a coach, my clients no matter what stage of their careers they are at usually come to me saying "Hugh, I don’t know, but I just feel stuck” and they do not know how to get “unstuck” - meaning that life and work start to overwhelm them causing their stress and anxiety levels to take over and they never feel like they will ever accomplish their goals and the things they most want to do in life…. And I’m not just talking about making money.

My first tip is to identify the things that are keeping you from moving forward, toward the goal you want to accomplish.

I know too well, that we all get ourselves into situations or activities that do not contribute to our goals and ultimalty to our success in whatever area that may be. I couldn’t say no, I tried to please everyone, and the more I took on, the less time I had to work on those things that enabled me or my business to grow and prosper.

We all want to live a huge and successful life right?! But.. yes and there is always a BUT we get caught up doing stuff and things (sh*t) that end up holding us back from reaching our goals and more often than not, when we finally realise, it’s too late.

My Dad used to always say, when you are young time seems to last forever, but when you get older time will fly (where has this year gone?!!?) You have all heard the term “time is money”, time is one of, if not the most valuable life currency, so it is important to look at what you spend your time doing. So, do you want to work smarter and not harder to cherish your time, to enable you to stress less and be the best and start to accomplish the things you want most in life? Here are some tips:

1. Avoid the scroll hole.. 

Yep, you heard it right.. do you walk through the door after work (or in the morning before work) sit on the couch and just start scrolling social media, flicking between Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter etc.. mindlessly checking notifications, reading updates! While it is part of everyday life.... you have no idea how much time you are wasting in the “scroll hole”, it is like you have fallen into a hole and you lose touch with everything around you, for example your kids, wife, husband or partner sitting on the couch next to you. Just think about how many other productive things you could be doing.. reading for personal development, listen to podcasts, or how about talking to your kids, wife, husband or partner and asking how their day was!

TIPS: Some cool apps out there now that put a time limit on using your phone.. or go old school and just do not use it, break the habit, yes it is a habit. Check your phone in at the door when you get home and don’t check it or look at it until after dinner..

2. Plan to create Massive Action and not to-do's

While I used to be a to-do list type of guy.. I had pages of to-do’s and if I didn't finish them that day or I didn’t want to do them, they would go to the next day and page etc. But now, I always plan my week/day by getting clear on what I want to do by asking myself what my intention is. So if you want to create success you need to be CLEAR on what you want to do (accomplish)…. and you must ask yourself, what your INTENTION is or why you want to-do those things. 

TIPS: When you are writing your to-do’s for the week, while some will be a pain in the ass (for example doing the books for my wife business) ask yourself, “what is the purpose (real goal) of doing the "to-do" and what will the result and outcome be”? This will change your mindset from just going through the motions to actually wanting to to do it.   For example, calling an annoying client back who is a pain butt!! Think of the result/outcome (selling product or service) - He or she has the capacity to add value to me or my business by buying something or becoming a lucrative client.. Rather than thinking annoying… it has become the result and outcome you desire, which is to ultimately make money from the person or business.

3. Learn to say “NO"

If you are like me and I assume you are, then saying “yes” to something is just easy.. It is so easy to agree to a meeting, a project, to work on a file or a new client (or a to a dinner or party you just do not want to attend) when you already have a list of your own tasks you need to get done, and some of them are already super urgent, or you simply do not want to do it or attend. Taking on more than you can handle is a recipe for disaster. It is easier said than done, but taking the time to make sure that the “commitment” what ever it may be, will positively add to your life in and away from work, then do it, but... If it won’t, then say NO.. Being more assertive will help your stress levels, and you will feel better and more empowered for it.

"Fuel your life with productivity and purpose and avoid those things (people who) that emotionally drain you."

4. Accept the things you can’t control.

You have all heard the saying "worrying gets you nowhere”, well it is true, especially if you can’t do anything about it. So focus on the things you can get done.

This is a great way to manage stress, as we all have busy lives at work and away from work. One major thing I have learned—especially from my wife—is not trying to control the uncontrollable. Be a glass-half-full guy or girl, be more forgiving, and (my favourite) practice gratitude on a daily basis. Again, I know this is easier said than done, but when life throws us a curve ball, rather than stressing out over it think about the following:

  1. Control it or let it be;
  2. Be the glass half full person; 
  3. Forgive and empathise and… 
  4. Practice gratitude. Taking the time to focus on all that is good in your life and day when you are stressed is an awesome way to focus on the big picture that is your life.

“Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrows troubles. It takes away today’s peace”.

So next time you get cut off in traffic, take a moment to say to yourself “that person may have an emergency or is running super late to a meeting and needed to get that extra spot in front of me... and don’t let it get to you”. No doubt you will both end up at the next set of lights together and it will have made no difference to your day.

5. If you want to be the best, you have to surround yourself with the best people

The saying goes that "you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

While it I easier said than done, try and eliminate negative, toxic energy around you and you will start to thrive!! I’ve been on my own journey through this exact thing and it is amazing once you relieve yourself of the negativity how much your stress, anxiety and overall mental-wellbeing will start to thrive. 

6. We all make mistakes, but it is the lesson that makes the difference

Everyone makes mistakes in all aspects of their lives, from relationships, jobs, decisions and planning. The key is how you end up managing the mistakes, and the mindset you adopt to keep moving forward. Learning, growing and becoming a better person because of them. I love this quote “don’t cry over the past, it is gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful”..

7. You are Numero Uno.. 

Putting yourself first, or being selfish in the true meaning of the word for self preservation. Everyday we are faced with struggles whether it is not enough sleep due to kids or stress, unable to find the time to exercise due to being time poor with urgent deadlines and busy schedules, but there is a need to be able to have a vision that is so great, that no matter what the struggles are that you are facing that your vision reminds you to stay on track and do those things in life that enable you to create the success. 

This is where your routine comes in and not any normal routine of just getting up in the morning and going through the motions, but creating and maintaining a sustainable and actionable routine. Not all routines are the same, and what might work for me may not work for you, so start to create an awesome daily routine for life - get up early and exercise, walk more, drink more water, eat well, build your own destress routine (mediation etc). We all know we have the best days when we have ruled our morning routine.  

Hugh Simson